Although my article presents a new outlook on the issue of the Social Host Ordinance in the South University neighborhood of Eugene, my article has a lot of room for improvement.
It is essential that I shorten my lead. Although it has important information, if a lead is too long readers can lose interest.
In addition I need to make the story come alive more and introduce quotes better. I plan to add better transitions, as well as organize my thoughts better with only one thought per paragraph. It is also vital that I proofread to avoid carless errors and mistakes.